A beginner’s manual on decoding the wrath of animal welfare
workers
Few things can make you lose friends faster than animalwelfarese. It's that strange language you hear coming out of that handful of people who smell weird, are covered in fur, and may sometimes be seen gossiping with a cow or giggling with a donkey. I'm going to try and help us all get along, by provided long-winded explanations to what animal welfare workers mean when they say certain things, flail their arms around, frown, pout, turn purple and stomp away.
You want to BUY a
PUPPY? WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!
Here’s the short version: animals are not commodities.
Here’s the long version: We live in a grossly overpopulated
world. More people, more animals, more demand, more supply. We have too much of
everything, except, perhaps the chance of future generations inheriting the
magnificence of tigers, elephants, whales, pandas, plants, trees, common sense.
If you keep commoditising animals and buying them, breeders will keep breeding
them. More “pets” end up on the streets, and there are already enough stray
dogs in our country. In Animal Welfare-speak, we call them “community dogs” so
that we can sleep at night, but we all know how they’re treated and, what’s
worse, what happens to house pets when they end up on the streets.
Animal Welfare workers often get calls from people who
mistake us for breeders. This is one of the greatest and most nauseating
ironies that life has to offer, but it happens. At the dog adoption centre I
volunteer at, we once had breeders come over for a chat and a possible
purchase. They wanted female Rottwheelers, Lambradogs, Pomerians, or Huskies to
mate with the males they had already purchased. When I was done with them, the
shelter was the cleanest it had ever been: I had wiped the floor with them. But you need to know why, so here goes.
Apparently, there is
such a thing as an ethical breeder. One who has a licence, a large, clean,
healthy space and humane, responsible methods of crossing dogs and producing
litters. They must be urban legends, because I haven’t met any. The dogs that
come to us from breeders have all been mistreated, abused, and starved. The females
are usually used till they can no longer squeeze out a bark, let alone a puppy.
Then, they are left on the streets to fend for themselves. This is the case for
the ones that are used for breeding. The puppies that result don’t have a far happier
life. They are sold indiscriminately to anyone who fancies a ball of fur. A large
number of these people buy an expensive dog to augment the number of
possessions they can show their friends. Some others buy these dogs with
absolutely no idea what they will grow up to be, especially those who buy Great
Danes, Rottweilers, Mastiffs, St. Bernards and other massive dogs.
On the cat
front, Persians are a dime a dozen these days, and naturally, this also means
that a fair number of them end up with welfare workers. When a cow’s lactating
days are done, she is “put to pasture” or, in this case, left on the mean streets
with no means of acquiring bare necessities. It’s safe to say that a large
percentage of animal welfare work revolves around rescuing and rehabilitating
animals that were sold and bought. Most of this shit’s premeditated!
The next time you find out that a friend is planning
on buying a dog, don’t introduce
them to that someone-you-know who can help them. If you’ve read this far, you
know a large part of the arguments. So make them on our behalf. If you’re ever
tempted to live with a dog or ten, consider adopting an animal that’s out of
luck. Remember, they’re out of luck because another human screwed it up for
them.
Don’t buy dogs or cats or hamsters. Adopt a pet from a shelter. Put out
water and food for the aforementioned community animals. Have a birdbath, if
you have a patch of garden. Befriend a squirrel. All of this is available to be
marvelled at, respected and loved, completely free of cost.
Oh, and one more thing. The next time you meet an animal welfare
worker, pat it on its head and give it a cookie. It may often yell and scream about
the illegal trafficking of "profitable" animals, but at least you now know why.
